PSP River City Open 2007

Well it's that time again for another event review by yours truly...me. This time the fourth event of the PSP 2007 season was held in Omaha, Nebraska and by "Omaha" I mean Council Bluffs, Iowa and by "Council Bluffs" I mean the middle of fucking nowhere. I wish it would have been held somewhere else as my flight cost me a lot and I just wasn't too impressed with the site at which the tournament was being held. Yes, I am aware of what it takes to put on an event. Yes, I am aware that the fourth event generally is the red-headed step child of the PSP series. Yes, I am aware that attendance is always low due to a ranking system that would force lower ranked teams to bump up a division despite being unable to compete in that higher division thus skipping an event so they can play World Cup in the lower division. However, BFI (Bum Fucking Iowa)? Come on...

Wednesday – I get to the airport early and sit around for four hours waiting for my flight. While I'm there I notice several members from Team Speed are there including Tim (the coach) and Ore. Upon seeing them I already know that they're going to be on my flight and with my luck sitting either next to me or around me. I get on the plane and sure enough, they're only a couple rows behind me. My plane then gets to sit on the tarmac for about half an hour which I fall asleep only to wake up to see that we are still on the ground. Finally, we take off and after a two hour flight I'm in Omaha, hurrah (/sarcasm). I go to baggage claim where I eventually meet up with Amos, Alan, Ian, Tyler and Joel. We wait and wait and wait for my bag and it never comes. I go to the ticket counter and low and behold, there's my bag. We then go to the hotel, drop our stuff off and go to the field. At the field, we check in and find out some of the best news I've ever heard; Jax Warriors dropped out of the tournament. HELL FUCKING YES! No Jax Warriors means no PGP and no PGP means no excessive bitching, whining and crying which means a shit ton less to deal with. It also means four less matches to referee, which is always a plus. But with every good thing something equally bad happens and that bad thing was confirmation of an afternoon bracket of D4 5-man...fuck me. Also while at the field I harass Dan Fagan for awhile, much to the delight of Marcus. We leave, meet up with everyone else, eat dinner at Arby's and call it a night.

Thursday – First day of the tournament and typically the easiest. On the first day, the teams are testing the fields and are either playing conservatively or going all out. Yes, they've had time to practice the field layout before the event but that doesn't mean it's going to be the exact same at the event. I'm not saying bunkers get moved around it's just that there are minor details that need to be taken into consideration and those details determine if you go all the way or if you're getting drunk on Friday night because your team is already been knocked out. I have the good fortune of getting to referee primarily Open division once again and I'm excited. Open division means better competition and less chance of getting shot by those players. That's pretty much a win-win situation right there. Like I've said before when you know the teams you know what they're going to do and who to watch thus meaning better faster calls. You can't expect to catch everything but you do catch most of it. The one thing I was not expecting was the heat. Oh my God it was hot and not just hot, humid. It was Houston humid and then some. It bore on unbearable and several refs went down due to heat exhaustion. I persevered despite feeling like shit with and finished the day. I knew that if the rest of the tournament was going to be like that I don't know if I was going to make it the rest of the event.

Friday – Same shit, different day. The tournament continues as well as the heat, the bitching and everything else that could happen at a tourney. Nothing really stands out in my mind except the Damage vs. Speed game where Jerry from Speed collides with a Damage player and gets knocked to the ground, hard. He lays there for a bit till he gets his wind back and we walk him off the field. It's also in this game that I notice a non-rostered person in Damage's pit who happens to be Jimmy Savaria of Strange. I go into the pit and ask him for his ID and sure enough, he's not on the team's roster. I then ask him to leave the pit and stand behind the roped off area as he's not allowed in their pit. He, of course being a pro player and not knowing the damn rules, asks why he can't be in Damage's pit. I explain why and he continues to act like this is a new rule devised moments ago when it's been in the rules for the past couple of years. Finally, I tell him he can leave or I can take his ID and he won't get it back till he pays a fine. Jimmy then takes it away from me and proceeds to cuss me out but he does leave the pit. After the match his over he comes up to me and continues to give me shit till Jake, my ultimate, runs him off. I then see him talk to Marlene and Marcus where obviously the same conversation takes place. Jimmy storms off and gabs about it to as many people as possible and I hear about it from someone else who wasn't even near my field. Oh well...

Friday night – A group of us decide to go eat at CiCi's Pizza with Porno Paulie leading the way. A short 11 mile trip lasts over half an hour and when we get to CiCi's, it's closed. We then look around for a place to eat and decide on some bar and grill place where we have a fun night at the player's expense. If you don't know at this point we, being the refs, make fun of the players a lot. If we're not making fun of them, we're making fun of each other and if we're not making fun of each other then we are either not around one another, asleep or dead. That's our nightlife. Not exactly glamorous or exciting but it is quite entertaining.

Saturday – This day is usually one of the better days and the reason is because games start later for me at least, which means a little extra time to recuperate. We ref two Open semi finals games and then have lunch. After lunch for the first time since World Cup the field I'm refereeing has a bracket of 5-man and not just any 5-man, Division 4 5-man which is the equivalent of rookie. You may think that that doesn't sound that bad but that's far from true. These guys shoot anywhere and everywhere. They run straight up to their bunkers and make it. All their guns are chrono'd way low and their paint is terrible. I also forgot how in 5-man there is no breaks like there is in X-ball. Halfway through our bracket I have to piss like crazy waiting for a halftime that isn't coming. But the worst part is to finish your bracket to find out that adjacent fields are behind and that you're field is picking up their games so that games won't be played in the dark. This isn't a very welcomed situation especially with the heat, being taunted all day by Marlene and getting destroyed by D4 players. We get it done regardless and go back to the hotel.

Sunday – This was probably the most hectic Sunday I've ever experienced. In the morning we have a small bracket of 5-man games and we kill them quick. After that it is D3 semi-finals, which we run with no problems. We scarf down our lunch and run D2 semi-finals followed by the Open division consolation match. After that it's D3 consolation followed by Open final between Avalanche and Aftermath. This match was brutal and all Avalanche; their first win since Chicago 2004. The day continued with D3 finals and the most boring D2 finals game I've ever watched between Drama and Vicious. A total of 3 points were scored in 15 minutes of play. During this game a player from Vicious accidentally had the team's tool pod in his pack, which he pulled and dumped in his hopper. I did everything I could not to start laughing at him. After that the tournament is officially over for me.

Sunday night – We go eat at Fazoli's and the head back to the hotel. We then stay in the lobby for two hours laughing our asses off over various things that happened during the week. Marcus joins us and is no longer horrified that we work for PSP and is actually participating in the conversation. It's a great time had by all and I know that if someone would have filmed us in the lobby, the players might come to realize how stupid they can be at times.

Monday – Get all my things together, throw them in Amos' van and head for the airport. I fly back home next to this big fat lady who takes up part of my seat making for a very unpleasant flight. I get home to write this up for all of you who probably won't read it but it's not like I have anything better to do but wait for World Cup, which hopefully I'll get to go to...